As I've, hopefully, got quite a few years ahead of me before I can be classed as qualified on the subject of parenthood, I wonder if my musings on the subject bear any validity? Not that I'm about to issue a polemic, just share with you a cluster of random events which have set my mind on this particular bent at late.
I overheard a woman the other day musing over the future of her child. She warily eyed a pair of teenagers before glancing at her child in her buggy and declaring "God I hope she doesn't grow up to be an Emo! I hate Emos. I wouldn't mind if she was a punk though: I quite like a mohawk." This got me thinking - do most parents look at their child's particular and generally bizarre fads and groan? Or do they take it in their stride as another step on the joyous journey which is parenthood? Did the parents of the girl I spied today dressed like a Thundercat, complete with a cat shaped hat and orange feline contact lenses wince when she waltzed down the stairs this morning? Was it an expression of her 'creativity' or is it in fact a rebellion against her self-professed 'dog people' parents?* What about those really obnoxious kids you see in supermarket queues, kicking up a fuss and generally showing themselves up? Is this just a mini annoyance to their long suffering parents or does it make them die inside to have their child rail against them so unfairly?
That type of problem doesn't seem to exist with really small children. It's a nature thing. All baby animals are cute so that adults 'coo' and 'ah' over them and ensure their DNA gets passed on. A male friend of mine for instance went all gooey the other day when he saw a little boy hug a little girl. He had an 'expectant parent' glow when he was telling me about 'the sweetest thing' he'd ever seen. Not that he is expecting, it's just that I know he's been having the children discussion with his girlfriend of late and genuinely seems thrilled at the prospect of being a dad in the not so distant future.
Actually, all the parents I know are very happy. They get a special kind of glow when they talk about their children. Another friend of mine who's already a father, is obviously a doting dad: I never thought I'd see someone so happy when discussing a baby's constant, ear-piercing scream caused by constipation (information, I hastily add, voluntarily given on his part and not actively sought out by me).
Childhood from a parents view must be a trial, after all the late nights, screaming matches, school, food and health worries and finally the teenage backlash, it should be a relief to have an adult child at last; 'should' being the operative word here.
I don't know about you, but when I see a celebrity or some random person doing something daft and generally embarrassing themselves, one of the first things that goes through my head is 'What would your parents say?' Glamour models for instance or porn stars, or, on a less intense and seedy note; Stephen Fry getting drunk on TV.
Ok he is a national treasure and is allowed to get away with it and if his autobiography s anything to go by (which I recommend reading by the way, it's very good) seeing their son getting a bit squiffy on national TV is probably a relief to his parents. I could imagine the ear bashing from my parents if it was me. Of course, it was all the name of serious journalism and to find the best tasting Bourbon in the South for his new TV show which I'm thoroughly enjoying. Right now, he's floating over an autumnal scene in a hot air balloon, reminding me that autumn is well and truly here.
It is my second autumn of the year, one in each hemisphere. So I've had the leaves turning crispy twice, the nights drawing in and the days getting colder twice in the space of six months. Anyway, it's getting colder, the heating is on and I've got a lovely new winter coat to keep me warm on cold frosty mornings. I like autumn, it's encourages my inner child to come out to play, be it stomping through leaves or dressing up for Halloween. I'm not ready to give up every vestige of my childhood yet. When do you have more fun than when you forget about what other people think about you (like a kid does)or can wear whatever you want without people looking at you like you're mad or laughing until your sides ache? Maybe parenthood isn't a bed of roses, but getting to act like a kid when you're playing with your child? I’m guessing that's one of its main appeals. I think I’ll stick to just behaving a child for now.
*Inverted commas added around the word 'creativity' because there was a whole bunch of strangely dressed teens and I'm not sure that Cardiff's answer to Cosplay can really be called creative when all their outfits were a) all shop bought and not hand made or customized and b) chosen on the basis that they would be approved by the other members of the group- thus negating it's creativity and daringness.